In short: Breastfeeding aversion is a complex condition that causes intense negative emotions during nursing. This article explores its causes, symptoms, and offers practical strategies to cope. Solutions exist to help mothers overcome this challenge and find a more peaceful experience, emphasizing that they are not alone in this difficult situation.
Identifying Symptoms: When Body and Mind Say No
Aversion manifests as a wave of negative emotions overwhelming the mother as soon as the baby latches. An irresistible urge to flee or remove the child is the most striking symptom. This agitation is often accompanied by intense irritability, even anger or disgust. These feelings are unsettling and can appear suddenly, even after months of happy breastfeeding. It is crucial to distinguish them from Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER).
Physically, the manifestations are just as strong. The mother may experience chills, a “skin crawling” sensation, or muscle tension throughout the body. A palpable anxiety, with a racing heart, can also appear. These uncontrollable physical reactions reinforce the feeling of discomfort and the need to end the feeding as quickly as possible, creating significant distress.
The moment he latched, a wave of rage and the urge to scream would rise within me. I felt trapped, touched against my will. The guilt was immense; I thought I was the only one to feel this way, a bad mother. Putting a name to what I was experiencing, breastfeeding aversion, was the first step towards feeling better.
—Testimony from Léa, Mother of an 8-month-old baby
What causes breastfeeding aversion?
Breastfeeding aversion is a complex phenomenon with multifactorial causes. Hormonal imbalances, particularly during the return of menstruation or a new pregnancy, play a key role. These fluctuations can alter the perception of nursing and trigger feelings of rejection.
Maternal exhaustion is a powerful trigger. Extreme fatigue, nutritional deficiencies, or dehydration make the mother more vulnerable to sensory overstimulation. The simple contact with the baby can then become a source of intense and involuntary agitation, leading to a desire to escape.
Finally, psychological factors such as stress, anxiety, or an unmet need for personal space are crucial. All these elements can create a vicious cycle that is difficult to break without adequate support and a good understanding of the mechanisms involved. For more information on related topics, you might find our article on breastfeeding and libido helpful.
Triggers of Aversion and Immediate Solutions
| Common Trigger | Immediate Calming Strategy |
|---|---|
| Extreme fatigue / Lack of sleep | Breastfeed in a side-lying position (biological nurturing) to rest at the same time. Ask your partner to take over right after feeding to allow for a nap. |
| Dehydration or hunger | Prepare a “nursing basket” with a large bottle of water, juices, and healthy snacks (dried fruit, cereal bars) to keep within reach. Good hydration is crucial, especially in hot weather. |
| Sensory overstimulation | Isolate yourself in a quiet, dimly lit room. Use headphones with soft music, an audiobook, or a podcast to create a bubble and divert attention from unpleasant sensations. |
| Physical pain (back, nipples) | Use a nursing pillow for optimal support and vary positions. Check the latch. If pain persists, do not hesitate to consult a specialist. |
| Feeling “trapped” or constantly “touched” | Practice mindfulness techniques: focus on your breathing (inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 6), count objects of a certain color in the room, or scroll on your phone to mentally distract yourself. |
Long-Term Strategies to Overcome Aversion
To overcome breastfeeding aversion, combine distraction strategies with strong support. During feeding, occupy your mind with a book or podcast to divert attention from negative sensations. Simultaneously, partner support is crucial. Communicate openly about your feelings; they can help by creating a calm environment. This alliance between distraction and external support is key to rediscovering a more serene breastfeeding experience.
Finding Support: Professionals to Consult
When facing aversion, it’s crucial not to go through it alone. The first step is often to contact an IBCLC-certified lactation consultant. They will assess the overall situation, from the baby’s latch to your well-being. A doctor or midwife can also rule out any underlying medical causes, such as deficiencies or hormonal imbalances. Never underestimate the importance of a professional diagnosis to understand the root of the problem.
The emotional aspect is just as important. Consulting a psychologist or therapist can offer a safe space to express your feelings without judgment. Finally, mother-to-mother support groups, online or in person, are an invaluable resource. Sharing your experience with breastfeeding aversion helps break isolation and find practical solutions from peers who truly understand what you’re going through.
Frequently Asked Questions About Breastfeeding Aversion
Does this mean I don’t love my baby?
Absolutely not. It is crucial to understand that breastfeeding aversion is an involuntary reaction, often hormonal or physiological in origin, and not a reflection of your feelings. You can deeply love your baby and simultaneously experience these intense negative emotions during nursing. Guilt is a common reaction, but it’s essential to remember that what you feel is not a choice and does not define your maternal love.
Can aversion disappear?
Yes, for many mothers, aversion is a temporary or cyclical phenomenon. It can lessen or disappear completely by identifying and addressing its triggers (fatigue, deficiencies, overstimulation). Sometimes, it is linked to specific periods like a new pregnancy or the return of menstruation. It’s also important not to confuse it with other phenomena like Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER), which has different mechanisms. With the right support and strategies, it is entirely possible to overcome this challenge.
Should I stop breastfeeding?
This decision is entirely yours and should be made without guilt. The goal is the well-being of the mother-child dyad. Before deciding to stop, you can explore management strategies: reducing feeding duration, only nursing under certain conditions, or practicing partial weaning. If, despite everything, aversion too heavily impacts your mental health, weaning can be a healthy and necessary solution. A serene and fulfilled mother is the most important thing for her baby, regardless of how they are fed.
Mothers’ Stories: They Overcame Aversion
Manon’s advice:
“I discovered that my aversion was linked to a magnesium deficiency and extreme fatigue. By supplementing, on my doctor’s advice, and by making my partner take over so I could sleep, the negative sensations decreased by 80% in a few weeks. Never underestimate the impact of the physical on the mental.”
Chloé’s advice:
“For me, the key was to reduce the duration of feedings and stop forcing myself. I also understood that what I was feeling was similar to Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex. Naming it was liberating. I alternated with bottles of pumped milk, and this flexibility saved my breastfeeding journey.”
Amira’s advice:
“The support from my mothers’ group was crucial. Sharing my experience without judgment lifted a huge weight off me. We exchanged tips, like pinching our own skin to ‘distract’ from the feeling of annoyance or drinking a calming herbal tea just before nursing. These little things made a big difference.”
Breastfeeding Aversion: You Are Not Alone
Breastfeeding aversion is a complex challenge, but you are not alone, and solutions exist. Remember that these difficult emotions do not diminish your love for your baby. By identifying the causes and applying adapted strategies, it is possible to find peace. Above all, dare to ask for help and release yourself from guilt. Support is key to navigating this period and making informed choices for you and your child. For more information on related topics, you might find our article on Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex helpful.
